Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts
Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts

Thursday, 5 July 2012

If life was like a computer

If life was like a computer, it would be like these below:
  • We can add/remove someone in our life by using control panel.
  • We can put our problems at the recycle bin and restore them when we feel ready to deal with them.
  • We can personalize our appearance by adjusting the screen settings.
  • We can turn off the speaker when life becomes too noisy.
  • We can click on "find" (Ctrl+F) to find something that were missing.
  • To get our daily exercises, click on the "run" menu.
  • We can adjust incoming/outgoing activities by using firewall policies.
  • If we mess up our life, we can always press the "Ctrl+Alt+Delete" to solve it.

Friday, 14 January 2011

Courses for Men and Women

Courses for Women
Taught by men, for women. 
  • Avoiding walking in front of the tv.
  • Doing housework without complaining.
  • Shopping: buying what you can afford, not what you can charge.
  • Going to the washroom alone (formerly coping without my friends).
  • Understanding the male Response to "Do I look OK?".
  • Exercise: How it keeps you from looking like your mother.
  • Learning how to initiate intimacy.
  • How to apologize when you are obviously wrong.
  • Understanding the male response to "Am I fat?".
  • Dishwashers: Rinsing before is not a must.
  • The toilet seat: I can learn to put it down too.
  • Using the thesaurus: alternatives to "Make Love".
  • "The Weekend" and "Long Boring Walks" Are Not Synonymous  
  • How to go shopping with your mate and not embarrass him.
  • The remote control: Don't touch what you can't handle.
  • You too can Be the one to hang up the phone.
  • Honest, You don't look like Kim Bassinger – But you're acceptable.
  • Hairspray: The effects on the ecosystem (formerly one can is enough).
  • Runs in your nylons? It's not the end of the world.
  • Fishing: Being able to bait your own hook.
  • Intimacy: More than just lying there.
  • Learning to choose what to wear in less than four hours.
  • Vacations: Doing without 4 Suitcases.
  • Makeup: The less is more theory.
  • Nagging: Stop the insanity!
Courses For Men
Taught by women, for men.
  • Combating stupidity.
  • You too can do housework.
  • P.M.S. – Learning when to keep your mouth shut.
  • Understanding the female response to you coming in drunk at 4 AM.
  • Wonderful laundry techniques (formerly "Don't wash my  silks").
  • Parenting – No, It doesn't end with conception.
  • Get a life – Learn how to cook.
  • How not to act like a butthead when you are obviously wrong.
  • Spelling – Even you can get it right.
  • Understanding your financial incompetence.
  • You – The weaker sex.
  • Reasons to give flowers.
  • How to stay awake after.
  • Why it is unacceptable to relieve yourself.
  • Anywhere but the bathroom.
  • Garbage – Getting it to the curb.
  • You can fall asleep without it if you really try.
  • The morning dilemma - If it's awake, take a shower.
  • The weekend and sports are not synonymous.
  • How to put the toilet seat down.
  • How to go shopping with your mate and not get lost .
  • The remote control – Overcoming your dependency.
  • Helpful postural hints for couch potatoes.
  • How not to act younger than your children.
  • You too can be a designated driver.
  • Honest, You don't look like Mel Gibson, Especially when naked.
  • Changing your underwear – it really works.
  • The Attainable Goal – Omitting %@#*! From Your Vocabulary.
  • Fluffing the blankets after farting is not necessary.
  • Real Men Ask For Directions.
  • How to take illness like a man.

Friday, 24 December 2010

The naughty animals pictures

We know that nature takes care of the extension and preservation of species, but these pictures tell us that is natural and normal. I conclude that these animals incredibly reminiscent of the man on the issue of sexual relations.