If life was like a computer

If life was like a computer, it would be like these below:

• We can add/remove someone in our life by using control panel.
• We can put our problems at the recycle bin and restore them when we feel ready to deal with them.
• We can personalize our appearance by adjusting the screen settings.
• We can turn off the speaker when life becomes too noisy.
• We can click on "find" (Ctrl+F) to find something that were missing.
• To get our daily exercises, click on the "run" menu.
• We can adjust incoming/outgoing activities by using firewall policies.
• If we mess up our life, we can always press the "Ctrl+Alt+Delete" to solve it.

Courses for Men and Women

Courses for Women
Taught by men, for women. 

• Avoiding walking in front of the tv.
• Doing housework without complaining.
• Shopping: buying what you can afford, not what you can charge.
• Going to the washroom alone (formerly coping without my friends).
• Understanding the male Response to "Do I look OK?".
• Exercise: How it keeps you from looking like your mother.
• Learning how to initiate intimacy.
• How to apologize when you are obviously wrong.
• Understanding the male response to "Am I fat?".
• Dishwashers: Rinsing before is not a must.
• The toilet seat: I can learn to put it down too.
• Using the thesaurus: alternatives to "Make Love".
• "The Weekend" and "Long Boring Walks" Are Not Synonymous  
• How to go shopping with your mate and not embarrass him.
• The remote control: Don't touch what you can't handle.
• You too can Be the one to hang up the phone.
• Honest, You don't look like Kim Bassinger – But you're acceptable.
• Hairspray: The effects on the ecosystem (formerly one can is enough).
• Runs in your nylons? It's not the end of the world.
• Fishing: Being able to bait your own hook.
• Intimacy: More than just lying there.
• Learning to choose what to wear in less than four hours.
• Vacations: Doing without 4 Suitcases.
• Makeup: The less is more theory.
• Nagging: Stop the insanity!

Courses For Men
Taught by women, for men.

• Combating stupidity.
• You too can do housework.
• P.M.S. – Learning when to keep your mouth shut.
• Understanding the female response to you coming in drunk at 4 AM.
• Wonderful laundry techniques (formerly "Don't wash my  silks").
• Parenting – No, It doesn't end with conception.
• Get a life – Learn how to cook.
• How not to act like a butthead when you are obviously wrong.
• Spelling – Even you can get it right.
• Understanding your financial incompetence.
• You – The weaker sex.
• Reasons to give flowers.
• How to stay awake after.
• Why it is unacceptable to relieve yourself.
• Anywhere but the bathroom.
• Garbage – Getting it to the curb.
• You can fall asleep without it if you really try.
• The morning dilemma - If it's awake, take a shower.
• The weekend and sports are not synonymous.
• How to put the toilet seat down.
• How to go shopping with your mate and not get lost .
• The remote control – Overcoming your dependency.
• Helpful postural hints for couch potatoes.
• How not to act younger than your children.
• You too can be a designated driver.
• Honest, You don't look like Mel Gibson, Especially when naked.
• Changing your underwear – it really works.
• The Attainable Goal – Omitting %@#*! From Your Vocabulary.
• Fluffing the blankets after farting is not necessary.
• Real Men Ask For Directions.
• How to take illness like a man.

Mathematic Learning

Romance mathematics
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

Office arithmetic
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

Shopping math
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t need.

General equations
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can’t find such a man.

Happiness
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

Longevity Statistics
Married men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot more willing to die.

Propensity to change
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change, but she does.

Discussion technique
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.